Day 23

Well, you're really going to see a good side of me.

I'm tired of friends and acquantances calling and sending cards and arriving on my doorstep with food. I feel like an ungrateful bastard but everytime someone gives me a concerned look or a "just checking in with you" call, it reminds me that I'm sick. I don't want to be sick so don't remind me. When I first found out that I had testicular cancer I called a friend of a friend that had had it several years ago. He was very supportive and encouraging. Not a big deal, you'll be back on your feet in no time - he said. And I resented it. I resented it anytime someone said testicular cancer is so curable - it was like they were making light of what i was going through. And he didn't know what I was going through. My case is nothing like and is much worse than his was. He didn't have to go through three cycles of chemo, he didn't have to go through any chemo at all. And now I look at this as just a bad case of the flu --- to consider it any worse is to realize how serious it really is.